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Too Loved

Why do you love me so much?

I am just ordinary, no sense of extraordinary

just human and broken and such.

I have scars, marks and other imperfections.

My soul is fragile, disillusioned

as a result of so much deception.

So why do you love me so much?




How intricate and beautiful the body is,

microscopic cells working simultaneously

performing different functions as you sit there and contemplate,

taking for granted the billions of actions occurring at that instant.

The sun touching your skin, changing it to a rosy color as your veins rise,

rise to the surface and particles of sweat dew your skin.

The smell of the fresh air and sound of laughter inspires your brain

to release hormones that fill your body with warmth and joy.

How intricate and beautiful the body is.

Imperfect Images

Sometimes we have expectations of things we have not seen or experienced and when it happens, it is nothing like you expect. Sometimes, they are full of imperfections and flaws that you never pictured before. I felt this the first time I saw the Colosseum in Rome. I had this beautiful image of a gigantic structure that was so architecturally intricate and intact. I pictured it like the images of it in the movie Gladiator. Even though I knew it was aged and weathered by the climates of many centuries, I still thought of it as that beautiful art of work. As I stood there in the light rain shower, I stared up at the structure, much smaller than I had thought.
It was very little of what I had imagined. However, there was beauty in the ruins of what was left behind. It contained a history, a story one could never remove from the boulders of stone that occupied the small Colosseum center.
It was then that I discovered something. The things that are truly beautiful are never how we picture them to be. Young women grow up hoping to meet their prince charming; many of us hope for this strong handsome man with a perfect job, resembling much of the stories we were read to as children. In reality, we grow up searching for this and we end up finding love in the imperfections of a man. This man may be similar to our prince from our childhood but full of beautiful imperfections that you would have never imagined in your prince. They come with a story that makes them who they are. That is beautiful.

There has been a rise in the idea of a quarter-life crisis: it typically occurs between the ages of 17 to 30 in which someone begins to panic about their life and starts questioning their choices due to fear of becoming an adult.

The early 20s really are full of confusion and choices and this is why I feel that the choice paradox plays such an important role in the stress caused by this crisis.

Throughout history we have been given more options and choices of decisions we can make that were not available many years ago. Women before only had the option of staying home and raising a family. Men often worked blue collar jobs unless they were of high socioeconomic class they had the options of going to universities and becoming working professionals.

Years and social rights movements promoting equality have given us choices; women can now become engineers and doctors which used to be (and still is although it is changing) male only careers. Men are now staying home and raising families. Individuals of any socioeconomic background can now attend universities and become working professionals unlike many of their ancestors.

This all sounds wonderful. So what is the problem?

Too many choices. Think about it this way: You go into a supermarket to buy a product for the first time so we will use peanut butter as an example (sorry, to anyone with allergies). You never bought peanut butter before. You don’t know which brands are good, which stay fresh longer or even which is the best bang for your buck. You enter the aisle where it is located and there are 5 rows of peanut butter with over 30 different options. How do you go about making a decision? Deciding causes you stress and sometimes you may regret the choice you make if you don’t make comparisons or research. If there was only two kinds of peanut butter, your choice would have been much easier and much less stressful.

The period from high school graduation on is very stressful in the same way. Choosing to go to college or immediately join the work force is one option. What major to choose is another. Actually, about 70% of college students change their majors in college at least once and many change them much more often from this chunk of people. Before college graduation, you have to decide whether or not you want to continue furthering your education or joining the workforce. What if you end up falling in love and starting a family? This affects you life decisions too. Becoming an adult is a stressful period now that things have changed.

This all leaves a ton of young adults feeling lost and confused. So keep in mind that this crisis can be very real to many. The more choices people have, the more likely they may enter a similar crisis.


I May Not Be Her

I may not be her,

The woman who clouded your dreams with her beauty.

I may not be her,

The woman you always desired but you were never available when she was.

I may not be her,

The woman you had loved who ran away that you so desired to win back.

Yet, love works in the most unexpected ways joining two individuals,

two strangers to cross paths and grow.

Our distinctness intertwines in the strangest ways

But as long as I am happy and you are too,

I’ll forever spend the rest of my life with you.

Post-Photo Shoot Aftercare

Everyone is always concerned with photo shoot prep and they don’t realize the effects of makeup and hair styling on your face and hair.
Your makeup looks gorgeous. You are stunned by how beautiful you look and want to keep your makeup on as long as possible even hours after the dozen selfies you took and long after the shoot is over. Problem is that the makeup that was caked on your face is clogging all your pores. Models tend to break out typically after photo shoots due to the fact that the face is getting covered in impurities from brushes that may not be cleaned properly and potentially old makeup.
Solution: Remove the beautiful makeup as quickly as you can. Although it’s pretty, the quicker you remove it the less time you have it clogged up with all that makeup. I recommend using a makeup wipe to remove most of the excess makeup and follow with eye makeup remover and another full facial makeup remover. Then, use a cleanser to clean off any remaining impurities then apply some toner. Most importantly, apply moisturizer to hydrate your skin.
Hairstylists love to experiment during photo shoots with new styles and products to attempt crazy up dos. All this product and heat can severely damage your hair if not done properly or if not taken care properly. You want to avoid breakage of hair follicles and other damage as much as possible.
If your hair was teased, kindly ask the hair stylist, if possible, at the end of the shoot if she can remove as much of the teasing as possible. You can severely break your hair strands if not done the right way. If this is not possible, wash your hair with a ton of conditioner and use a wide-toothed comb in the shower to carefully untangle it.
Don’t leave any hair spray or other chemicals in your hair. Hair follicles are very sensitive and can get damaged very quickly. You should always do a hair conditioning treatment after a lot of product or heat is applied to your hair.
I hope these tips help!

Same old song

It’s the same old song the dancer recognizes

time and time again.

Never ending waltz that comes on–

just a different partner to give her that same rush

through her veins.

She recognizes that she’s just being played

like any mere fool.

Yet, the pain she endures as she dances

seems to be her fuel.

When I was a child, I wanted to be a ballerina. Later on, I decided I wanted to be Miss Universe when I used to see it annually with my mother. Then, she told me those weren’t realistic so I said I wanted to be a scientist when I was gifted a microscope. (I clearly didn’t know how to use it but I sent most of my time trying to figure it out and “examining” red ants in a Petri dish). After that, my mind changed several times annually but it was fine because I wasn’t even old enough to work yet anyway so who cared?

I don’t come from a family of wealth and as I grew older, my mother reiterated daily the importance of education and getting a good career so that I can live independently and not have to go through the struggles she went through. I was a straight A student for the most part, with honors and AP courses and tons of club participation in high school. I wasn’t the valedictorian but I was really darn close. I wanted to be good at everything and for that reason, I didn’t know what I wanted to study when I applied to college. I set my mind to be a doctor because of my fascination with the sciences until my guidance counselor told me that I wasn’t good enough.

Those words resounded so loudly in my ears. “Not good enough” was something I would never thought to hear considering how involved I was and how much I tried. So, instead of following my hope to be a doctor, I changed my mind and studied psychology instead.

Went to school only to find out that psychology wasn’t intellectually challenging and then after graduating (magna cum laude), switched to biology. Now, I still don’t know what I want to be at the age of 23.

I started to notice that this isn’t uncommon in my generation. Many have become perpetual students, who are still searching to become something. Some are lost because they didn’t get into the program they desired, some were forced to take on a major their families wanted them to take and aren’t fond of it, while others because their degree cannot provide them with the job they desired in this tough job market.

After much thought, I decided that it was okay. I will find what I am meant to be in this life because I know that I am skillful and talented. Soon, I will know what I want to be and in the meantime, I will function as a member of society in some way and that is okay.


Slow breeze whispers its sweet stories of adventure from the seas

as the sun kisses the skin that longs for attention.

The waves crash onto the sizzling sand

to then fizzle out into the abyss of the ocean.

The condensed water collects on the outside of your chilled drink-

reminder that it is yet again summer.


Appearance of an Angel

Appearance of an angel but the

greatest secrets are hidden in the

most unlikely places.

Voice of an angel but the greatest speakers

are the best manipulators.